Thursday February 28, 2008
| Just to let everyone know...I have a new room and it's amazing. I feel so at home. Everytime I unlock my door with my buff card I open into a world of peace and happiness..my own realm with the comforts that I adore. Anyways.... 2nd semester of college is truly a thrill ride, there are certain things in life that you don't expect to happen, then again life is pretty much unpredictable. I kept thinking in fictions, which is stupid because nothing is written in stone. I kept thinking to myself; I'm going to live with a pyscho for the next few months until semester ends, this dorm experience will suck no matter what because none of my room mates talk to me. I compared to prison a few times..I couldn't really express myself, I felt certain restrictions imposed on me, which is utterly insane. Will Vill sucks on so many level...blah blah blah blah, though circumstances change and haha I have a new room and an awesome roomate (who also had a pyschotic roomate) ....so you do the math. miserable child+miserable child (who both had pyscho roomates)=destiny. No??? When I receieved the e-mail that I could change rooms, I left toute fucking suite, packed that night and moved in the next day with the help of a friend and my "Mama" (though I usually just call her Mom or Ma(Mandarin) ...so I've just noticed some changes that have happened second semester 1) I actually have a better social life...I'm not in my dorm all the time doing homework and facebook. I've met new people..I finally stopped slacking and went to tango....I mean it beats doing homework on a Friday night. yeah I know I'm pathetic..no wait..I'm Asian. 2) I put my two of my loves on haitus when I entered University, which are; piano and photography. Why? well I thought that I needed to concentrate on my majors...I still can't believe that I'm double majoring and I'm not sure if this is even my decision. I guess the Chinese major was to shut my family up from objecting from what I believe in. Though I don't need to listen to them, I actually want to do this; I want to learn archaic Chinese, I want to learn stroke order, I actually want to do calligraphy. But, I'm just overwhelmed with my families suggestions...and that is to triple or possibly quadruple major in the following -Photojournalism -linguistics -music -oh and Chinese...like that's not easy enough. ...My Dad is clearly insane when it comes to this, other then that ..he's still a crazy person with a friend who shanked a guy back in the 70's on a train and said "gimme my oil MOTHER FUCKA" ..then again I love him..when he's not 1) calling his ex-gf (cuz they're still friends..I just hate the bitch cause she said i was fat...LOOK AT HER ..if only I had a picture people would understand, but GOD THE WOMAN IS A FAT FUCKING BITCH) 2) being a walking contradiction 3) an angry fuck head.. *Ahem.....though the loves of my life have been awaken again, and now I realized that I do piano and photographia for my personal enjoyment. I love playing Debussy, I love playing Satie, I love playing Chopin..my mind is at complete peace and I fall in love with the beauty that is made from an instrument. I think that beforehand, it was just to please my parents and suppress them from questioning anything that I do other than those two because they would just get caught up in this piano/photography frenzy. After my trip to Santa Monica and putting up my photos on my wall in my new dorm, I realized that I take photos for me, for my friends, for the sake of happiness. Note:[Anytime when I go back home, I want to play some Satie or Chopin..or Tiersen, but I can't just play for pleasure. It's like a command, it's an order issued by the mandate of my parentals. So when that happens I just lose the enthusiasm to slide my fingers on the ebony and white keys and soar from octave to octave. ] I realized that I should do what I want, what I believe in and not what my parents want. It sounds utterly pathetic of me to have just said that, but things are a bit different from where I'm coming from. I'm supposed to be an obedient, docile person and since I'm the oldest... and the first to attend university the amount of expectations are high. It's like "heyy no pressure but it's ALL ON YOU". Inside my brain I'm going "well..fuck thanks dude (Dad)" 3) I've noticed that there are so many stupid people at CU including ...yes including TA's. There I said it. No offense to my Chinese T.A, but wow come back to the U.S with better English under your belt...and you think you were confident to leave the mainland with that kind of ENglish...I'm really impressed by your courage though. 4)this city is not as liberal as it seems. I've had this discussion with a few of my friends and wow Boulder seems pretty conservative..or maybe a lot of people just have a foot up their ass. A few days ago in the Daily Camera, the paper published and article concerning local public school enrollment and how some kids got shut out from their preferred schools. With that in mind, surburban parents went off the chain and complained to the district that they can't get into the Boulder schools. Now why would you want to come to Boulder for a public education. I'll explain this phenomenon to you. Many Caucasian people outside Boulder (still in Boulder county) want to have their kids go to a school in Boulder to avoid diversity, to avoid the Hispanic population because then their children won't get a decent education. That's why my parents sent me and my little brother into Boulder....yeah call it racist please...someone just say it. oh and now there's that article circulating around campus that is offending many people at this moment..everyone is complaining about the amount of discrimination towards Asians. I think Boulder was asking for it because..come on this place, this institution is one of the whitest campuses ....if you wanted more diversity..well then this city needs to be more diverse 5) Concerning the Asian hate article: I think everyone needs to get a grip and stop getting hyped up about an article. If this actually happened in real life, then I would do something about it. Otherwise enough with the fears and anger and resentment. I'm sorry if I'm sound like a fucking hypocrite..I'm not offended, I'm just weirded out by the fact that some people still have these ideas in their head..it's the 21st century! Posted 2/28/2008 at 12:0 AM |
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