THIS IS COLORADO:
-in the morning we might have depressing stricken gray clouds, but then all of a sudden several hours..fucking sunshine appears out of nowhere
-then it gets freezing and we have snow the next fucking day
then the sun decides to apologize to us and make it melt...then the distrcit cancels the proposed snow day, which blows because we have to do more lame homework and learn more algebra than i should ( i don't even need math if i'm gonna go into lingusitics..fuck this)
anyways....
-i love the 2005 holiday season...hehehe why is that?
hmmm well there's CHRISTMAS DAY..WHICH I LOOKED FORWARD TOO
but here's the results of my day
- mom going to the ER (DUDE I TOLD YOU NOT TO OVERINDULGE YOURSELF OVER WHATEVER YOU FUCKING ATE @ THE THE ASIAN PARTY...DID YOU DRINK?? BUT I DRANK MORE THAN YOU YOU WHORE!!)
- Getting rejected...isn't that cute (there you go everyone: I AM A FAILURE, THERE IS NO HOPE FOR SUSAN WHEN IT CCOMES TO THIS EMOTION ...KNOWN AS LOVE...WELL GUESS WHAT: YOU KNOW IT'S ALL IN YOUR FUCKING HEAD!!!!!!!!!!) I AM NOTHING...NO WONDER GUYS DON'T WANT TO ...DATE ME,..i am not appealing..i've always realised that..god i have been such a fool, why do i even think that i have a chance anymore because i don't.
Why remain determined when hey i'll be getting the same response of "your nice, but no and I'm so sorry, or sorry, or i'm really sorry"
"There's still hope for you Susan" -Ben Collins,
uh nooo ben there is no hope, shut up and stop trying to make me feel better you loser..you logical thinker..STOP MAKING ME FEEL BETTER BECAUSE I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING GIRL IN THE FIRST PLACE GAHHHHHHHHHH, just becaus you have your own bit of fluff dosen't mean your thinking can prove useful since it's all blind..but not in your head
- Your grandparents talking about how much your grand kids are hopeless 'behind your back' because they don't tell you ANYTHING apparently about your mom's condition in the hospital..by the way: SHE WAS FINE, DAD TOLD PETER AND HE TOLD YOU, HE EVEN REASSURED YOU WHEN YOU KEPT BEING STUBBORN ABOUT THE REPETIVENE QUESTION "IS YOUR MOM ALRIGHT????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
..but hey I'm NOT DEAF YOU FUCKING BITCH,I CAN WIPE A TABLE AND REALISE THAT YOU MADE A CESS POOL OF A MESS DURING BREAKFEAST..I CAN WASH THE FUCKING DISHES WITHOUT YOU CUZ I AM NOT A FUCKING 2 YEAR OLD
I HATE YOU-YOU HAVE SUCH A COLD HEART YOU SICK GRANDMA I HATE YOU , I NEVER FELT ANY LOVE FROM YOU EVER!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER GOT A HUG WHEN I WAS CRYING ABOUT MY DEAD GRANDMA, I NEVER GOT ANY FUCKING COMFORT FROM YOU ....WHERE IS THE LOVE?? THERE ISN'T AND I HATE YOU!!!!!!!
- when your dad decides to browse around grand ebony pianos as something that we could do tomorow (the 27th of December) GREAT I DON'T WANT A PIANO, HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT I HAVE NO DESIRE OF A FUCKING EBONY..WHATEVER 6 FT GRAND PIANO ..OKAY I AM SICK OF THIS CONVERSATION, WHEN WILL YOU REALISE THAT I AM IN NO DESIRE FOR A DAMN PIANO BECAUSE I DONT NEED ONE AND YOUR WASTING YOUR TIME FIXATING OVER THIS IDEA THAT WE SHOULD HAVE ONE, BECAUSE HELLO??? WE DON'T NEED ONE, SAVE THAT MONEY FOR SOMETHING USEFUL, OWNING A GRAND PIANO IS LIKE OWNIGN A FUCKING BIG DOG, I HAVE TO MAINTAIN IT, TUNE IT, DUST IT, AND FEED IT WITH MUSIC OR ELSE IT WILL DIE
-today it's boxing day!!
got a ride to Peri's thanks LISA!!
decided to get pizza
went to pizza hut
planned out a four for all
waited
talked about europe
got pizza
ate pizza and watched dazed & confused
mandy called, i thought it was my mother
started cracking up when the movie de-paused and it reverted back to American television and it was Nick
-ate kickass fudge cookies
-hung out until 6 pm..well until it got dark
it was pretty ...the sky i mean
Posted 12/27/2005 at 12:44 AM
